05 Mar We all have a story to tell and this is mine!
Yesterday I woke up with my daughter singing happy birthday to me. I woke up and saw how she was holding a tray with a mug of tea ( she apologised for not making coffee, but she couldn’t figure out how it works) and next to the mug of this delicious tea was a plate with even more delicious pancakes….6 or 7 stacked on top of each other. Actually, I have to correct myself they weren’t just ordinary pancakes, but Strawberry pancakes! Yes, it was my birthday and this little beautiful 11-year old I am blessed to call daughter took on the mission of keeping the birthday tradition alive, now when her two brothers happened to be away on a camp and the daddy was still in another country due to heavy snow and cancelled flights. After we had finished our pancake breakfast she jumped out of bed and I think she ticked off the mission as completed. I took time to reflect on what just had happened. Here I am turning 44 with my youngest turning 12 in the summer making me birthday breakfast, I have one son who will be 15 in a couple of weeks and the oldest 18 a few days before that. I share life, home, bills, car, bed all the good and the bad with my husband of 20 years. I have my mum and dad alive, I am blessed to know I have three brothers and a sister who would walk miles for me if needed. I’m thinking of all the wonderful and beautiful ladies I can call my friends, who I know would not hesitate to get me Ben&Jerry’s fish food ice-cream if the situation required. I am rich, I know I am I see it and I feel it.
But I do know, I could have been here, lying in bed celebrating my 44th birthday without being completely stuffed on pancakes, without a daughter in the living room practising her backflips. Without being annoyed at my eldest son who keeps bringing food to the living-room but not clearing up. I know so well that my youngest son was made in a time when our hearts and our marriage were in a healing spa. I know how close it was for me to go from being married to being a divorcee. I know how close it was that we stopped writing our family story. Actually, it was only one counselling session away. My life, marriage and heart were not restored and healed in one session. No no, it has been a journey through life ever since. But that first session left me with a small seed of hope. Even though my heart and mind were fighting each other, and all I wanted was to run away, our counsellor actually left me with a hope I didn’t even want or ask for.
Yet, here I am celebrating my 44th birthday harvesting good fruit from that little seed that the counsellor planted in my heart, that day in that first session, 16 years ago.
I thought my husband was the biggest problem in our marriage. Sorry, I thought he was the only problem in my marriage. But with God’s grace gentleness and patience, He has done an incredible work in my heart. Yes absolutely in my husband’s too, but our first breakthrough in our marriage came when we decided that he should work on his, and I should focus on my heart and only mine.
I know the importance of having access to encouragement and truth and compassion when doubts of anything in life is about to drown you. On this blog I will share my journey from a broken marriage to a restored one in a personal way, it will be both honest and transparent without any filters. But it is important that you know whatever I might share will be from the perspective of a heart that has been healed and a marriage that is restored. However as I am a student still of how to fully and completely surrender to the lifestyle of heaven I know is the one supplying all my needs of a happy, healthy, adventurous, rich, funny and meaningful life I will also share my personal journey of how I have come to the terms of the fact that I am a masterpiece created in God’s image and with a unique purpose here on earth. So is you by the way – A masterpiece with a unique purpose.
To end this very first blogpost I want to plant some seeds by forwarding what our counsellor said to us during our first session that changed the ending to our story that was about to be written.
“I’m not here to help you back to the relationship you once had, apparently it didn’t work very well. No, I’m here to help you create a new marriage you have never had before, the one you want but didn’t know how to live.”
This comment from a man we had just met was the beginning of my journey that led me to celebrate my 44 year old life in a home in Edinburgh with my family spread out, full on pancakes and with a feeling that I’m the richest woman alive.
Faith Hope & Love